


Everything Else

by hondansadeensommar



Series: Multifandom Hurt/Comfort Oneshots [27]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Gay Male Character, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Pansexual Character, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 19:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20263411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hondansadeensommar/pseuds/hondansadeensommar
Summary: "Most people can wrap their heads around the idea of liking someone of the same gender.  But trying to explain the idea that gender doesn’t really matter tends to confuse people.”





	Everything Else

Chan couldn’t help smiling as he sat on the couch in the downstairs dorm with Joshua, watching an American movie that Joshua had suggested.The older man had an arm around Chan’s shoulders, holding him close so that the elder could occasionally explain something in the dialogue that Joshua wasn’t sure Chan had caught.While Chan’s English was pretty good, there were certain things that just didn’t come across easily without further explanation.Thankfully, Joshua was good at remembering to turn on the subtitles whenever they watched an English-language movie so that Chan could keep up more easily and only need minimal assistance from his American-born _hyung_.

“Did you like it?” Joshua asked, as the credits began to roll at the end of the movie.Chan couldn’t help smiling at the way the older man gently squeezed his shoulders with the question, thankful for how easily things had simply returned to normal after he’d come out to his members a few weeks earlier.Although there had been a few awkward moments - a few of the members had been afraid of offending Chan at first, and it had taken some time for everyone to understand that things didn’t need to change - everything had pretty much returned to normal.If anything, some of the members were _more_ affectionate because they felt the need to make sure that Chan didn’t feel the need to hide anything else from them.And Chan certainly couldn’t complain about that, because he actually loved the attention from his _hyungs_.

“It was good… kind of weird, but in a good way,” Chan replied, yawning widely and stretching as much as he could in Joshua’s arms.The older man ran a hand through Chan’s hair, gently pulling him so that his head was resting on Joshua’s shoulder.“What time is it?”

“Almost midnight,” Joshua replied.“Do you want to just stay down here for the night?You can share with me…”

Chan smiled, nodding at the idea.“Yeah… that sounds nice,” he replied.“Boo-_hyung_ and Junnie-_hyung_ are both probably still contagious, and I don’t sleep well if I can’t cuddle with someone…”

Chan had barely slept since both of his roommates had started feeling ill a few days earlier, which meant that Chan had been forced to stay in his own bed rather than climbing in with one of his _hyungs_ like he usually did.Chan understood the reasoning, of course - the group only had a limited number of days before their next big schedule, and they couldn’t afford for anyone else to get sick at that point.But the lack of someone to cuddle with was further messing up Chan’s already horrible sleep schedule, and the prospect of even one night of relief was inviting.

“Want to borrow a toothbrush so you don’t have to go back upstairs?”Chan nodded, slowly getting up from his seat as Joshua turned off the television and started to clean up a little.“Go ahead, okay?I’ll meet you in my room in a little bit.”

Chan did as he was told, brushing his teeth in one of the Dorm 1 bathrooms with a spare toothbrush before heading into Joshua’s single room to borrow a pair of pajama pants from the elder vocalist.Joshua was already in the middle of changing his clothes, standing there in just his pajama pants.“Sorry…” Chan began, starting to back out of the room to give the older man some privacy.

“Hey… it’s okay, Channie.I’m shirtless, not totally naked,” Joshua replied, motioning for Chan to come back into the room.“Besides, it really doesn’t bother me.”

Chan nodded, closing the door behind him and moving towards Joshua’s closet.“Can I borrow a pair of pajama pants?It’s a little too cold for just boxers…” Chan began.

“Go for it… borrow whatever you need,” Joshua replied, throwing on his own tee shirt.“I’ll be right back.”

Chan nodded, changing into some of the older man’s clothes and climbing into the bed to wait for his _hyung_ to come back so that they could cuddle until Chan fell asleep.Joshua didn’t take long to come back, closing the door and turning off the overhead light before joining Chan in the bed.There was still a little light coming from a lamp on the table next to the bed, so that Chan could see Joshua’s face as the older man smiled at him and stroked a hand through his hair.

“Can I ask you a question, Channie?” Joshua asked.“You don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable… but I’m curious about something.”

Chan raised an eyebrow.“Okay?”

“Have you ever actually kissed a guy?” Joshua asked carefully.

Chan shook his head slowly.“Never really had a chance… I spent pretty much all of my teen years in the company building with you guys, and I couldn’t even tell you until recently,” he replied.

Joshua nodded slowly.“Would you want to?”

Chan sat up slightly, a bit confused by the older man’s question.“What?” he asked.

“If one of us were to give you the chance, would you want to kiss one of us?” Joshua asked.

Chan raised an eyebrow.“_Hyung_… I’m not desperate for my first kiss,” Chan replied, shaking his head.“I’m not going to ask one of you to do that for me.And I’m not going to try and kiss a straight guy just for the sake of getting kissed…”

There was a moment of silence, before Joshua moved so that they were face to face and he was looking Chan in the eye.“What if the person offering wasn’t straight?” Joshua asked softly.Chan felt the older man taking his hand.“_I’m_ not straight…”

Chan was silent for a moment, trying to process what the older man was saying.“You’re gay?” he asked softly.

“Not exactly,” Joshua replied, shaking his head.“I don’t really think about gender, or what’s in someone’s pants.I just focus on whether or not I like the person… that’s more important than whether they have a dick or a vagina to me.”Chan nodded slowly.“If you aren’t comfortable, I understand.We can just cuddle.”

Chan nodded slowly, taking a deep breath.“Can I think about it?” he asked.“I just… it’s kind of a lot to think about, and I don’t want to make the wrong decision.You’re my friend, _hyung_, and I don’t really want to mess that up…”

Joshua nodded, smiling at him.“Of course,” the older man replied, turning to turn off the lamp before moving so that he could cuddle Chan a bit closer.“It’s your choice, okay?I’m not going to push you.”

“Thanks, _hyung_,” Chan replied, cuddling up against the older man’s chest and letting his exhaustion take over.Chan was asleep agains the older man’s chest in a matter of minutes, more relaxed than he had felt in days.

***

“_Hyung_… why haven’t you come out to the other guys?” Chan asked, laying on Joshua’s bed the next evening.He’d found himself drawn to Joshua’s room after their conversation the previous night, and the elder had been more than happy to allow him to come in with the promise of another night of cuddles since Seungkwan’s fever still hadn’t broken.This time, however, Chan had at least remembered to bring his own pajamas with him.

Joshua sighed, turning to face Chan.“Because I promised my mother that I wouldn’t come out to anyone here,” the older man replied.Chan could see that Joshua wasn’t happy about having to keep his identity secret.“My parents know that I’m pansexual, and they accept me.But my mom… she was afraid that if anyone in South Korea found out that I’m not straight, it would ruin me.And she didn’t want me to lose out on my chance to be an Idol, so she made me promise to keep it a secret.”

“But you told me…” Chan began, still confused.

Joshua smiled sadly.“It was easy to tell you, because I knew that you would understand,” he replied.“You have to understand, though… being pansexual is different than being gay.Most people can wrap their heads around the idea of liking someone of the same gender.But trying to explain the idea that gender doesn’t really matter tends to confuse people.”

Chan nodded, moving to pull the older man into a hug.“You explain it well, though,” he replied.“I don’t really _get_ it, but it isn’t that confusing, if that makes sense?”

Joshua smiled, leaning his head against Chan’s shoulder.“Thank you.”

Chan couldn’t help smiling, especially once Joshua started to pull him to lay down.“_Hyung_… the light is still on…”

“And I still need to brush my teeth before we go to sleep for the night,” Joshua replied.“That doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy cuddling with you for a few minutes first, right?”

Chan was quiet for a few moments, just enjoying the warmth of his _hyung_ pressed against his side.“If you wanted to come out, I would support you,” Chan commented.“It’s not an easy thing to do… but if you change your mind about telling the other guys, I would be there with you.If you wanted.”

“I appreciate that, Channie,” Joshua replied.“You just have to understand… it hasn’t always gone well, when I’ve come out to other people.My parents were understanding, but a lot of people in our family don’t get it.You know, I have an aunt here in Seoul that won’t even speak to me…”

“I’m sorry…” Chan replied softly.“That’s part of why my family still doesn’t know, either.It was hard enough to talk to you guys…”

Joshua sighed.“It sucks that people have so much hate just over who people fall in love with,” he commented, stroking a hand through Chan’s hair.“Maybe one day people will be able to get their heads out of their asses, but until that happens I guess we just have to accept that there will always be people who dislike us…”

Chan smiled as Joshua pressed a soft kiss against his hair.“I’m going to go finish getting ready for bed, okay?We’ve got a long day again tomorrow.”

***

“So… are you two like a couple now or something?”Chan looked up at Jeonghan’s question, realizing that the older man was looking back and forth between Joshua and Chan curiously as the group sat around in their practice room for a longer break while Soonyoung, Jihoon, and Seungcheol met with their managers to settle a few final details regarding the album they were about to record.Chan could see a few other members nearby glancing their direction, waiting to see what they would say.

“What makes you say that?” Joshua asked.While he seemed calm about the whole situation, Chan could hear the slight waver in his voice as he asked the question and immediately reached out to put a hand on the older man’s knee..

“Chan-_ah_ has slept in your room almost every night for the past week… and the two of you have been a lot closer since Channie came out,” Jeonghan commented, shrugging.“It made sense when his roommates were still sick, but Junnie and Boo are both fine now.”

“But Jisoo-_hyung_ isn’t gay…” Seungkwan began, obviously confused as he turned to look back at them.“Are you, _hyung_?”

“I’m not gay,” Joshua replied, shaking his head.“And we’re not a couple… we’ve just been talking and cuddling.You guys all know that Channie sleeps better with someone else next to him.”

“So… you’re _just_ sleeping?” Wonwoo clarified.

“We’re _just_ sleeping,” Chan replied, nodding.“I love you guys, but you’re like my brothers.Anything else would just be weird.”

“So then why have you been staying with Shua-_hyung_, instead of coming back to cuddle with us?” Junhui asked, pouting slightly.

“You’re jealous, _hyung_?” Chan asked, smiling cheekily.“I didn’t know you cared so much…”Chan couldn’t help laughing as the Chinese man threw the cap of his water bottle at Chan, which Chan quickly dodged by leaning into Joshua’s side as he laughed.The older man smiled, but Joshua didn’t seem completely comfortable with the conversation.

“I’m not gay… but I am attracted to guys.And girls,” Joshua commented.

There was a brief moment of silence, before Vernon spoke up.“So you’re bisexual?”

“Kind of?I prefer pansexual, because it doesn’t exclude anyone based on their gender,” Joshua replied.“I feel like bisexual implies that it’s only male or female, and there isn’t anything else out there.And it’s a lot more complicated than that.”

“So like… you would date someone transgender?” Wonwoo asked.

“If I liked them, yeah,” Joshua replied.“Obviously not right now… I know I can’t do anything like that here.That I have to wait until after Seventeen, or until things change here before I can be open about anything.”

“_Hyung_… why didn’t you tell us before now?” Seokmin asked, obviously concerned about what was going on.“You saw the way we reacted to Channie coming out… did you think that we would react any differently to you than we did to him?That we wouldn’t be able to accept you, too?”

“I promised my mother that I wouldn’t come out to anyone here,” Joshua replied.“I told Channie a few days ago… I knew that he would understand why I needed to keep it to myself, and it was a relief that _someone_ else knew.”

“Knew what?”Seungcheol’s question surprised Chan, as the three leaders walked back into the room.“Is something going on?”

“Shua-_hyung_ came out while you guys were gone,” Mingyu commented, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.Chan had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at how matter-of-fact it sounded coming out of Mingyu’s mouth.

“Gyu-_ah_… you can’t just tell people that…” Joshua replied, closing his eyes with a sigh.“I’m pansexual, everyone knows now.How about we get back to rehearsal, before I get even more embarrassed?”

“I’m not… what?” Soonyoung asked.

“Shua likes guys and girls, and everything else in between.Let’s get back to work,” Jeonghan replied.


End file.
